Let me explain this before someone gets mad at me. My aunt sent me this, she lives in the Gulf Coast region. I figure if she can make it all feel better by having a laugh, then why the hell not.
*You have FEMA's # on your speed dialer.
*You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
*Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.
*You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
*When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.
*Your SSN isn't a secret; it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
*You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
*You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
*The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
*You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
*You own more than three large coolers.
*You wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
*You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.
*Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
*You catch a 13-pound redfish... in your driveway.
*You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
*You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, MS.
*At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
*You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
*There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
*You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
*Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
*Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
*Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MREs and bottled water.
*Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
*You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.
*You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.
*A battery-powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
*You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
*Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
*Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm!
*You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
*Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
*You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.
2 comments:
Oooooh Sunny, I wonder if it is too soon to make jokes about Katrina...but I could still appreciate the funny side of this! I am going to type up that joke I promised you, and email it to you direct, so you can decided whether or not to put it on here. Better than trying to fit it on here as a 'comment'!
I thought the same thing but a person from that area sent it to me.
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